I thought this was funny because it is so true! What women say really isn’t what they mean, and I think this applies 95% of the time, haha!
- “I’m Fine”
- I’m not fine, I’m pissed.
- “Nothing”
- You’ve pissed me off enough, it’s time to start apologizing for it.
- “I don’t think we’re communicating well lately”
- You haven’t been agreeing with me like I want you to
- “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes”
- You’re going to be late thanks to me, and don’t you dare be late when I want to go somewhere
- Do you love me?
- I want something really expensive
- I want to hear you tell me that you love me, how much, and why
- Do what you want
- You can do it, but I’m going to be pissed after you do
- “I’m not going to make the decision for you” or “It’s your decision”
- Didn’t you understand me when I already said “do what you want?”
- “How much do you love me?”
- I did something wrong and I’m not sure whether to tell you or not
- You did something wrong and I’m setting you up for a “Then why do/did you… (say that you love me, yet do this/that? You don’t really love me!)”
- “… how you treat me the way you do”
- You aren’t giving me enough attention lately. (No matter where you’ve taken me, what you’ve bought me, cooked for me, etc.)
- “How do I look?”
- Dependent on whether trying on clothes or already chosen an outfit.
- Will this grab other guy’s attention & make other girls jealous? or Tell me that I look beautiful stupid.
- “Are you listening to me?”
- Look me in the eyes and illicit values from what I’m saying you idiot! (usually too late when you hear this one!)
- “We need to talk”
- I need to complain
- I’m breaking up with you
- “I’m not your maid”
- I’m pissed about something else that you did.
- Your files are a mess, but my clothes/purses/shoes belong on the floor so I can see them all.
- I started doing the laundry, but you need to finish it.
- “I’m not your dish-bitch”
- You cook, you clean the dishes. I cook, you still clean the dishes. Domino’s cooks, you clean the dishes yet?
- “Let’s do it together”
- You do it, then I’ll jump in toward the end and take credit.
- “I’m sorry”
- But not as sorry as you will be.